Of Moments and Memories
by meggles830
Summary: "Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory." Dr. Suess Felicity Smoak grew up in Vegas with her mother, Donna, with no idea who her father was. Then, one day she has to figure it out and that begins the real adventure of her lifetime and introduces her to her entire family. Non-linear stories that will all come together (hopefully) to paint the


_Malcolm Merlyn was what his father would have called a Captain of Industry. He was the CEO of Merlyn Global, an international financial services firm with 20 billion dollars in assets under management. He had run this company for 20 years and had always hoped to pass on to his son, Tommy. However, given Tommy's most recent run in with the law (why would anyone steal a cab? He had a car service with a driver available 24/7), the idea that he'd ever turn it around and start taking school and life at all seriously was beginning to feel like a pipe dream._

 _He sat in his large office looking out over Starling City, racking his brain for a solution. What was it going to take to get Tommy's head out of his ass and force the boy to take some responsibility? Robert Queen may be willing to perpetually finance his son's indiscretions and peccadilloes, but he had a wife and a daughter who could step in if necessary- all Merlyn Global had was a disinterested, over indulged boy whose heart was still broken over the loss of his mother 12 years ago._

 _"I'm sorry Mr. Merlyn, there is a Felicity Smoak on your calendar and in your waiting area, but I'm not entirely sure what the visit is about- it's on your schedule, but I swear, I don't remember seeing it until this morning and it was marked in purple, which, you know is my code for personal, so I'm hoping you know why she's here." Malcolm was interrupted from his thoughts by the sight of his distressed Executive Assistant, Cheryl, in his office trying to block a young girl with long dark hair, dressed in all black, including her nails and lipstick._

 _Malcolm was puzzled but held up his hand, letting Cheryl know that it was perfectly alright for Miss Smoak to enter the room._

 _"Please, Miss Smoak, why don't you come in and sit down? Can I get you anything? Water? A soda? Coffee?"_

 _"Thank you, but I've already had quite a few cappuccinos while I waited to come in here and I'm nervous enough as is, so I think that if I had any more caffeine it's likely that I'd end up vibrating right out of my skin. Not that that's possible to do. I mean, the laws of physics prove that- it would be impossible for there to be the requisite transverse waves, since they are inherently required to wave in opposite directions… Although if you buy into Quantum Field Theory, all electrons are actually constantly vibrating at all times, it's just a matter of being able to see the waves of the energy. But then, since we can't actually see the vibration of the energy around us, I doubt that you'd be able to see me vibrate out of my skin- not without some kind of special device and I think that starts to get into a very advanced and high tech kind of place and that's not really Merlyn Global's bag- maybe Queen Consolidated has something though. I think there are some interesting studies coming out of Norway right now that are starting to delve into the ramifications of… I'm sorry, Mr. Merlyn, I suppose I'm a bit nervous, and you may have noticed that I ramble a bit when I get nervous." She pushed her glasses up her nose as she sat there, trying to still her shaking hands as he looked her over._

 _He had to admit that she was a breath of fresh air, and there was something about her… she didn't exactly look like anyone he knew, but she had a certain quality about her, an attitude or an air to her that somehow seemed so familiar. He sent Cheryl a look that, after 20 years of working together, she recognized as a signal to leave and close the door._

 _"It's quite alright, why don't you take a moment and compose yourself before letting me know why you're here, since there wasn't much in my calendar to go off."_

 _"Oh, you shouldn't be upset with your assistant, by the way, it's not her fault she didn't have any information on my visit- I hacked into your system and put my name in there. Sorry about that, but I really didn't think you would see me without an appointment and I thought that if I called and tried to get a legitimate appointment, I'd probably be re-routed to your assistant's assistant's dog walker or something. And I really needed to get in and see you as expediently as possible."_

 _How old was this girl? He was looking at her and she was obviously much younger than his 17 year old son, Tommy, but probably a bit older than Thea Queen who was, what now? 8? It was difficult to tell, this girl in front of him was so petite, barely over 5 feet if he had to guess, and with big glasses- glasses that almost seemed too large for her face. But then she could spout off about quantum physics and was now making the rather extraordinary claim that she had hacked into Merlyn Globals' computer systems- systems which he knew were some of the most secure in the world- he paid millions of dollars every year to ensure that his company's data was as safe as humanly possible and here was a kid in glasses boldly claiming to have hacked his personal systems?_

 _"I see. And, may I ask what it is that is so vitally important that you would hire someone to hack into our systems?"_

 _"Hire someone? No, I did it myself- I mean, you have really great security measures, like, bonkers good actually- the way that you've segmented your network with that custom-built firewall system is really impressive- seriously. It took me longer to hack into your system here than for me to break into the FBI and the Census Bureau… and of course the FAA, which I had to do to try and confirm some travel data of yours from the last 15 years, but it wasn't exactly like the time that I hacked into the Pentagon to prove to my friend that there was no alien conspiracy in Area 51. Thank God I was actually right about that one- I was so NOT ready to shave my head if Tracy had been right, it was the week before the school concert and my mom would have absolutely murdered me…" She sort of faded off towards the end there, looking so sad at the mention of her mom._

 _So was that it? This girl had recently lost a mother and knowing that he had a soft spot in his heart for the motherless? Ever since he had lost his Rebecca when Tommy was almost 5 Malcolm had taken on so many charities and groups that worked with children losing parents- helping them to heal and adjust and grieve properly._

 _"When did you lose your mother?" His tone was not at all unkind, and she looked up at him, shocked that he could be so astute- which made him want to smile just a bit, something he hid, not wanting to offend this girl's intelligence or efforts._

 _"Two months ago." She murmured, so quietly that he almost didn't hear it._

 _"I'm sorry Ms. Smoak, I really am. My son lost his mother at a very young age and I know what it is like for a child to grow up with that kind of loss. I'd be happy to connect you with the Merlyn Foundation- we have resources, people you can speak to, people that can help you come to terms with it, to grieve and to move on."_

 _"I'm not here to fucking move on." Suddenly she looked up at him, no longer looking like a lost and wounded child but like a woman many years older- she was angry and fired up- her blue eyes blazing._

 _"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply… Look, perhaps I should call your father- do you have his number, I can call him and ask him to come and get you, I'd be happy to speak with him…"_

 _"Sure, and once you're done having a conversation with yourself, I'll be sitting here, waiting to see how you and you are going to deal with sweeping me under the rug." She looked up at him, eyes of steel, challenging him and the look, the flash in her eyes bringing out green flecks, despite the fact that they were so blue. But the way she suddenly stood and popped out her right leg while putting a hand on her hip, staring him down, challenging him… it reminded him of something- of someone..._

 _"I'm sorry, I don't quite…"_

 _"I'm Felicity Meghan Smoak, daughter of Donna Smoak. In January of 1989 you were in Vegas, at Caesar's Palace and you met my mother. You apparently spent that weekend, and a few others with her and then disappeared from the face of the planet. I was born in August that year. And before you ask, yes, I'm smart enough to have hacked your medical records- your company might have excellent firewalls and encryption, but your corporate health insurance's cybersecurity is a fucking joke. I was able to order a DNA test against a sample from your most recent corporate physical exam and it's all there. And yes, I could have easily hacked the system to say all of this- apparently you're quite the hotshot and I'm sure the first thing crossing your mind is that I'm out to get your money and name and all that, but you couldn't possibly be more wrong. All I want is a way to avoid foster care until I'm 16 and can emancipate myself before attending MIT or CalTech. I don't want your name or your money or anything else, I promise. I'll take another DNA test, I'll sign an agreement swearing I don't want a thing and the second I turn 16, I'm gone."_

 _Malcolm was shocked- this was a lot of information for him to process all at one time and the child was right- he was instantly concerned that this was a scam, some scheme or crazy idea this girl had cooked up for money. He was about to call out for security when a memory flashed across his mind. Blond hair, long and curly and a woman with an incredible body, gorgeous face- he saw 5 inch heels and a cute little black cocktail waitress uniform with cuffs and collar separate. She was smiling at him all night as he drowned his sorrows- his wife, gone almost six months and he still missed her every damn day. Then this woman walked up to him and smiled, but not too brightly, she put a hand on his shoulder, she talked to him- asked him what was wrong, let him cry a little. In the end, it was the only woman he had been with since his wife had died, the only woman he would be with for a few years. He just so badly wanted to shut out the pain, to feel something, to let her take care of him for a change._

 _"You're Donna Smoak's daughter?"_

 _"Well, Donna Smoak and Malcolm Merlyn's daughter. I mean, I might be only 13- almost, but I've had sex ed… I'm a sophomore in high school so I took biology, and I understand how ½ of my chromosomes are from you and ½ from her."_

 _"But- I don't… Donna never told me- she never tried to contact me… I don't understand…"_

 _"Yeah, well, if it helps, I didn't know you were my dad until about three weeks ago, so it seems like there are a lot of people she didn't say anything to. But, then again, I'm pretty sure she didn't plan for a semi to hit her head on in a rainstorm, killing her on impact, leaving her almost 13-year-old daughter to fend for herself."_

 _"I'm… I'm so sorry, I had no idea, I mean…" What exactly was he supposed to say at this point? He had a daughter? With a cocktail waitress from Vegas. A now deceased cocktail waitress from Vegas. And that daughter was right here, in his office, staring at him, looking for- what? Comfort? Assistance? Money? A father? It wasn't at all clear._

 _"Yeah, so, Malcolm Merlyn, what's next?"_

 _It had been six months. Six months since Malcolm had brought a strange, dark haired goth girl in all black to Merlyn Manor and told Tommy that he had a sister, an almost 13-year-old sister who had just lost her mom- a woman that Malcolm had slept with on one of his many trips away from home after the death of Rebecca Merlyn._

 _To say that he was completely shocked and dumbfounded was sort of an understatement. There had been fights, 17 year old Tommy screaming about how long his dad waited to go and fuck the first cocktail waitress that walked past him- words Tommy still regretted. He saw how his words made both of them- his dad and his sister (god, that was a weird thing to say) fold over, like he had just punched each of them in the gut… he knew how much his father had loved his mother, it wasn't fair to be so angry that almost 6 full months after his mother's death, his father sought solace in the arms of someone. And of course, no matter how angry he may be with his dad about defiling his mother's memory, he couldn't help but be somewhat haunted by the fact that this girl- no matter how she came to be- had lost her mom. If anyone knew that feeling, it was him, and he couldn't believe he was being such an incredible, Grade A dick to her. He wasn't 5 years old, he should be able to be upset and all kinds of angry with his dad without basically calling this girl's mom trailer trash and a gold digger._

 _But Felicity was serious when she said she wasn't looking for much from Malcolm. Turns out that she was some kind of girl genius, she wasn't even 13 yet and was going into her Sophomore year of high school- which was pretty upsetting to Tommy, hoping to barely graduate in the next year at the age of 18. But she definitely wasn't a gold digger, she seemed to hate being here with him and with Malcolm, never wanting to interact, preferring to stay in what was now her room on her computers or reading some giant, heavy, bulky book about tech or physics or sometimes even biology or chemistry… once he caught her reading a Richard Dawkins book about whether there is a God and she just shrugged when he raised an eyebrow at her- saying she felt like goofing off._

 _It took almost four full months for Tommy to piece together what happened with Felicity's mom. Apparently she died in a car accident in November and Felicity managed on her own for about two months. She lived off her mom's savings, some hacking tricks and her ability to count cards at various casinos in the less reputable parts of Vegas (he was definitely going to find a way to get her to teach him that handy little trick) until finally the landlord called CPS about her. Once that happened, she was faced with the prospect of going into foster care so she spent a week hacking every database she could think of to try and figure out who her father was._

 _Her mother had some clips in a box under her bed about Malcolm Merlyn, in the same box as some of her baby pictures- including her sonogram and hospital ID bracelet from when she was born. From there Felicity had hacked everything she could to try and verify whether they knew each other, whether the timelines matched and eventually, on a hunch, she managed to hack his doctor's office and test a recent sample of blood against her DNA to confirm and before she knew it, she had a dad._

 _She had been taking care of herself, well, her and her mom actually, for years. She was used to living in a tiny two bedroom apartment in Vegas while her mom worked 60+ hour weeks as a cocktail waitress and Felicity took apart and rebuilt any kind of tech she could get her hands on. She was a genius in a lot of subjects- science, computers, math, history and, surprisingly, language. She had skipped a few grades over her life, her mom had no idea where it came from, her IQ was off the charts and all she wanted was to graduate from high school and go away to college, get a dual master's degree in Cybersecurity and Electrical Engineering and, from there, take over the world- in a benign way._

 _Tommy was prepared to hate her… but she really wasn't around enough for him to notice. Malcolm was still away almost all the time and it was Tommy's junior year- him and Ollie and Laurel and McKenna, they were so busy living it up and partying like there was no tomorrow- drinking and smoking and hooking up and generally trying to avoid conversations about the future. Tommy frequently forgot that she was even around._

 _Ollie had told him that having a little sister was kind of great- but of course he'd say that, he met Thea the day she was born (they both did, actually, Tommy used to pretty much live at Queen Manor whenever Malcolm was away- apparently banging cocktail waitresses in Vegas). To be honest, Tommy always wanted a little sister- Thea could be a pain in the ass, but she was awesome too and it was fun chasing her around all the time and teasing her about meeting Prince Eric on her first trip to Disney- she had a ridiculous crush on him. Even going to her tea parties and watching her absurd dance recitals when she was a tap dancing penguin or some kind of woodland fairy in the class ballet were moments he'd always cherish. But being saddled with a 13 year old child prodigy who made him feel like an idiot every time he talked to her longer than 5 minutes? That was not the dream._

 _Not to mention, Thea was all adorable with her dresses and giant smile- she was peppy and happy and doted on Ollie and Tommy. Felicity just wanted to stick to her room and wear all black, unless she was adding purple stripes to her hair while playing some kind of wizard role playing game online with swords and dragons and shit. He had asked, jokingly, if she could take care of some parking tickets of his with her genius hacker skills and she had rolled her eyes and muttered something about the Bourgeoisie (what the hell was that) that went way over his head. Seriously? This was the sister that fate had stuck him with? Fan-fucking-tastic._

 _At least summer break was here and it was time for him to join Ollie and his family on whatever vacation they decided on for the summer- the latest attempt for Robert and Moira to show that they were, despite all reality, doing just fine and keeping up appearances of their perfect marriage and family. There was talk that this year they would do Alaska on a luxe yacht and high end RV for about a month- it sounded a bit more remote and outdoorsy than he was used to, top notch resorts and nonstop room services was more the usual for the family. But no matter what, it was 6 weeks without the little Goth Gremlin._

 _It was a hot day in June and Ollie was going to be over in an hour or two, whenever the hangover wore off enough that he felt like driving, but it didn't really matter. They'd probably just play Halo until it was time to go out. His dad had wanted him to take an internship at Merlyn Global this summer- take on a bit more responsibility, begin to learn the names and faces of some of the important people there, but Tommy had refused- using Felicity as an excuse- didn't she need someone around the house since Malcolm wasn't going to be around? It was a cheap shot, but it had worked- this time… he knew it was maybe his last summer of being able to get away with ignoring everything that was awaiting him in life._

 _Looking at his clock he figured maybe he'd go downstairs and find something to eat- may as well carbo load before going out tonight and drinking, he needed to be able to soak up all the scotch and tequila he was likely to imbibe. It was amazing that an Amex black card could get them in just about any club in Starling- including table service, despite being obviously (and somewhat infamously) well underage._

 _But Tommy was walking past Felicity's room when he heard a muffled cry… and although he was 17 and she was pretty much a baby to him, something about the sound just shot straight to his heart. It was enough to make him pause and actually peak in the cracked open door, looking at his half sister, hunched over on her bed, sobbing into a pillow- clearly trying to keep it quiet._

 _As a general rule,Tommy steered clear of crying women- in all fairness, without a mom and having a best friend like Oliver Queen, his general sensitivity towards emotional girls was "blech, is that a period thing?" But Felicity sounded so raw and emotional and alone, as she clutched something that Tommy would bet almost his entire trust fund was a photo. And that was when he recognized the sound for what it was, something he himself actually had quite a bit of familiarity with- it was the sound of complete and total loneliness._

 _And yeah, maybe he and "The Kid" (as he generally referred to her, at least around her or his father) had never really spent much time together, and yeah, maybe he had some personal crap to deal with in terms of having a secret/lost sister for most of his life; but it was in that moment he suddenly realized that she was just a kid, and she was going through something he had been through. Well, that wasn't entirely true- yes, he had lost his mom, and it had been sudden and violent and devastating- but he hadn't also lost his house, his school… he had, for most intents and purposes, a dad, he had Oliver and the Queens… he had a trust fund and things to distract him and pretty much everything he could ever want… except a mom._

 _But Felicity, she had computers. She had textbooks. She acted like she couldn't care any less that her dad had money or that her trust fund would someday allow her to buy an island, hell, maybe a string of islands- she just wanted to learn and study and eventually leave all of this. And maybe it was better that way- maybe it was better that they not get close or spend much time together- he would leave in a year for school, she'd be gone in three years herself, there was no reason to think they'd really ever cross paths again._

 _So who knows why Tommy Merlyn stopped and knocked on her door that night? He was supposed to be walking out the door, but instead he pulled out his phone and messaged Oliver, "Hey, need to raincheck, something came up. Have fun." before he walked into his half sister's room, even going so far as to sit on her bed, next to her and run his hand up her spine, trying to comfort her. And crazy enough, she just turned into him, collapsing into his side as she sobbed and wailed, needing to just fall apart._

 _He didn't question anything, he didn't actually speak at all- something that would go down in the record books as a first. She cried into his shoulder, clutching at a well-worn photo of a beautiful blond woman- Tommy assumed the woman in the picture was Donna Smoak. And in between sobs she was telling him how today was her mom's birthday and they would normally be at the Wynn playing the slots before going to dinner- her fake id and Donna's personality could usually get them at least ½ hour of fun before security harassed them- more than enough for Felicity to win enough money to buy her mom a special dinner._

 _Over time she stopped crying so hard and he just looked at her- really taking her in. She was tiny- barely over 5 feet tall and skinny. Her hair was obviously dyed to be way darker than her natural color, it was too harsh for her skin, which was actually very pretty- creamy and clear. And then there were her eyes- just big pools of gray and blue and, in that moment, her eyes showed just how badly she needed a big brother._

 _"Hey, you know what?" Tommy's voice was a little too bright, and as he listened to it, maybe a bit condescending, but he felt the need to cheer her up. "We should get out of here- go get something to eat. I have the perfect place for when I feel like shit. Why don't you put on some shoes and we'll head out, ok?"_

 _"Seriously? You want to go out with me? I mean- I don't mean like go out with me, like a date, I just mean… well, what if people see us?"_

 _That one threw Tommy because despite her ramble, he really didn't think anyone was going to think he was actually dating her- first of all, she CLEARLY looked WAY too young for him. And wouldn't people know they were related? They both went to Starling Prep, it wasn't exactly like she was a secret- there had been a few reports in the tabloids about Malcolm Merlyn's Long Lost Love Child when she had first shown up, but she was so quiet and Malcolm so constantly absent that they hadn't ever really built up any steam._

 _"What do you mean? Come on, I don't think the tabloids are going to give a shit if I take my sister out to the Waffle House."_

 _She just looked up at him, heartbreakingly innocent and suddenly shy._

 _"You've- you've never called me that before. Your sister. You usually call me The Kid… or Goth Girl… or the Gremlin." That made him wince. Shit, she'd heard those? Suddenly Tommy Merlyn felt like a class A douchebag- he was Douchey McJackass of the First Order._

 _"Hey, I'm sorry about that- I've been… I've been a jackass actually- none of this is your fault. I just- well, you may have noticed that Mal- Dad" he said that word with more than a little disgust, "Well, he and I don't always get along so well. That's between us, I've probably dragged you in the middle and I'm sorry about that. So- why don't we go out, get ourselves a giant stack of belgian waffles with three scoops of ice cream on top and just talk. What do you say?"_

 _Felicity wiped the tears away from her face and just nodded, smiling just a little bit- a small thing that brightened her entire face in a way that Tommy noticed had him grinning in response._

 _"Do you think they have mint chocolate chip?"_

 _"I actually know for a fact that they do… what do you say?" And with that she jumped off her bed, slipped on some flipflops and they left her room, while Tommy took just a second to make sure that the photo of Donna was placed carefully back on her night stand so it wouldn't get lost or ripped, just before he shut the door behind him._

 _Over waffles with ice cream, bananas and fudge sauce, with extra whipped cream, they talked. (She actually asked for a bowl of whipped cream and sprinkles and ate a few bites of that straight- something Tommy would never have thought to do.) He asked her questions about her mom- learning from her that Donna Smoak had been a beautiful woman with a take-no-shit attitude, but she also had a tendency to see the good in people, could be a little too trusting._

 _"She never really got me though. I mean, I know she would have preferred a different daughter- if I dyed my hair blonde and cared about my clothes more, if I wore makeup and talked about boys. I mean, I've never even been kissed. But all I've ever wanted to do was study and play with my computers. I built my first computer when I was 9, I scavenged for parts everywhere. I showed it to her, I was so excited and she had no idea what the hell it was." Her eyes were misty, but so far she was keeping the tears in check and Tommy couldn't quite process how brave this girl in front of him was. When he stopped to think about it, he still got so upset about memories of his mom that he bawled like a freakin' baby, and he had almost 10 years of grieving and distance- she only had a few months._

 _He reached out across the table and took her hand in his, squeezing it gently, getting her to look at him._

 _"Hey, none of that. Look, as someone who has been nothing but a disappointment to his dad his entire life, I know a thing or two about this. I just… I can't imagine any parent being disappointed to have you for a daughter. I mean, you're brilliant- you're going to graduate high school 2 or 3 years early, you're already being approached by companies and government agencies to work for them- Felicity, you are amazing- how could anyone not want you to be their kid?"_

 _She snorted a laugh at that._

 _"Yeah, I'm starting to think we were switched at birth. Maybe your dad would rather you were a bit more like me, studious and motivated to get through as much school as possible, as quickly as possible- but my mom? God, Donna Smoak would have given just about anything for me to be like you. She was constantly trying to convince me to go to parties, she promised to put me on the pill by my 14th birthday… hell, when I got the talk a year ago- it not only came with a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves, but a purple vibrator and a conversation about the importance of pleasing yourself before involving someone else in the equation. I mean, the few times I had a study partner over after school- she offered them weed! She tried to buy me a Homecoming dress this year and it barely covered my ass OR my boobs!"_

 _"Wow, I'm trying to imagine what that would be like- but I can't even really imagine having a parent who's around more than 10 weeks a year."_

 _"Yeah, see, you say that like it's a bad thing!"_

 _They spent the next two hours swapping stories about their parents about their childhoods, usually lamenting over their parental figures' over or under involvement. Before they knew it it was 5:00, Tommy paid the check and they were laughing and talking with each other easily, affectionately even. As they walked out of the Waffle House Tommy even draped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in for a side hug._

 _That was the night that Tommy really took her under his wing, where she became his baby sister, not the freaky Goth Gremlin who lived down the hall; and Felicity began to feel like even without her mom, she wasn't alone- she had a friend, a brother, a confidante- she could talk to him and he would talk to her, and it was amazing!_

 _It wasn't an instant bond like in a movie, and they still didn't have all that much in common, but they would talk and share things. He would talk about playing on his school's baseball team, about Ollie and his crush of the week; she would talk about growing up in Vegas (she even agreed to try and teach him how to count cards). Whatever brief periods Malcolm was home, he would see them getting along and just smile, as though this had been his plan all along- giving Tommy a little sister._

 _And she was changing Tommy. She was so bright and generally happy- despite her weird goth look. It wasn't exactly that her love of learning was rubbing off on him, but she was helping his school work. After he got a particularly bad grade on a math exam she started to tutor him- and she had a way of explaining pre-calculus so that actually made sense- not to mention the insane programs she was able to build into his graphing calculator to pretty much do the work for him- he just had to remember which buttons to press for which questions. It got to be a thing that he would drive her home from school at least three days a week and they would spend a few hours in the kitchen or his room studying- her helping him with whatever assignments he had because, honestly, her homework was usually half done before she even left the class._

 _If only things with her and Malcolm were nearly as good as they were with her brother. Her father was perfectly cordial- when he was around. After the initial shock of finding out that he had a daughter had worn off, he had made some cursory attempts at trying to "get to know her"- they basically seemed to mean trying to force her into normal girly hobbies like ice skating or dancing. Felicity had actually liked horseback riding lessons and didn't mind gymnastics for a few months (until a broken wrist ended that one), but ballet had been a no-go from the second she came into her room to find tights and a leotard._


End file.
